God Is Following Ron

Ah, the rain is back. Ordinarily I'd be unhappy about that. After all, it did rain nonstop for a month...or so it seemed. But right now, I welcome it. Why, you ask? Well, because Ron is attempting to grow some grass in all the bare spots in our yard, and that would be a shitload. We have clumps of straw decorating the front and the back where he fertilized, sprinkled seed and then, not to leave anything to chance, crossed himself and genuflected over each patch...about fifty of them. That was several days ago, and we, of course, have had nothing but sun since then. Therefore, those grassy hopes have probably dried up and withered away because prayer alone will not grow grass. It requires a little water and Ron hasn't given the un-grassy knolls so much as a sip all week. God finally looked down, sighed and Twittered, "Ron is an idiot, but he means well, so I am making it rain."