My Three Worst Car Buys

1. The '67 red convertible bug that I bought in 1975. It was a cute, but defective, bucket of bolts. It was 8 years old when I got it, had some paint issues, and was missing reverse gear, a rather essential mechanism, dontcha think? And I was well aware of its shortcomings when I handed over the $895. Actually, I could put it into reverse, move about a foot, but then it would just pop back out of gear, like a defiant child. No amount of harsh talking to or beating, however, worked with my little "Herbie". The challenge was to always park where I didn't have to back out, unless I was on a hill where I could just let it roll backwards. Herbie had other problems, too, but that was the biggie.

2. A brand new red 1989 Cutlass Calais. If you're not familiar with that blast from the past, it was on the smallish side, a compact family sedan, as it were. It would have been fine except that it didn't come with the sunroof that I had my heart set on. So I did what any accessory-minded shopper would do, I got them to add one. Big mistake. My already limited interior space shrunk by about 3 inches when they put in the sunroof. Tall people had to slump when they rode in my car...and by tall people, I mean anybody over 5'5".

3. The 1999 Mercury Sable I bought for PhillyTwo in 2003. Although I didn't actually buy this car for myself, I have to include it here because I bought it by myself, a point which PhillyTwo never let me live down. Why? Because it was a piece of shit that she was stuck with driving for three years, yet she had no hand in choosing. In my defense, I tried for months to get her to car shop with me, but she was always too busy. So one summer day, I just went to a dealership and bought the Sable. It was unfortunate that it was so warm that day, because I didn't bother to check to see if the heater worked. It didn't. And after that first summer, neither did the air conditioning. On the positive side, she could park it anywhere and never worry that it would get stolen...no matter how often she left the keys in the ignition.