The Perfect Resume For An Appointment on County Commission

Name: Heiden O'Genda
Address: Knox County
Desired Position: County Commissioner
Qualifications: I can read and write.
I've never been to prison.
I recently got my drivers licence back, so I would be able to drive to the commission meetings, just like I do to the AA meetings.
I've never voted against any of you because I don't vote.
I'm currently unemployed, so I have plenty of time for all the goings-on.
They said that disorderly conduct charge will be expunged if nothing else happens in a year.
Personal statement: I think you should pick me because I never get picked for anything.
You just tell me where to sit and I'll just sit down there and never open my mouth.
Y'all can do whatever you want to.
I won't say a word.
Tick-a-lock.